Winter Soldier-The Unnamed Files
by Create-tion
Summary: What if Hydra had created a back-up soldier to assist the Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes, with his mission to eradicate Captain America? What if Steve and the other Avengers happened upon a secret Hydra testing facility? What will happen when Steve finds a piece of Bucky that he can't make himself destroy...What if the experiment won't let Bucky go...? PLZ READ not good at summary
1. The Experiment

"How long ago did you find this place?" Tony asked eyeing Bruce and Steve. Recently, in the search to eradicate Hydra's last hiding places, they'd stumbled upon a training and testing facility. The majority of the rooms had been empty, cleared out when Hydra had been exposed after the release of Bucky and attack on Director Fury. However, there had been one room in deep below the ground floor carved especially for a holding cell. At first, when Tony had been called in to clear the touchpad to enter the underground portion of the facility he had thought nothing much of it. He'd assumed they'd find files and weapons. They'd all assumed it would have been warheads or something of that nature. They had not been expecting to find what they were staring down at now through a glass one way panel. It was bullet proof glass either to protect what was inside or them.

"Two weeks ago." Steve answered.

"And no one's dealt with this until now? That is a living person." Tony narrowed his eyes at the Captain.

"I couldn't get the orders to open the cell. Not after…" Bucky. Not after he'd been attacked by Bucky.

"There's no food or water in there." Bruce cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"This place isn't the best. Security footage showed some cracks in the wall that allowed ground water to drip in. And…rats." Tony made a face.

"That's not right. Guys, can we open this now?"

"I'm here." A thick accented voice cut through the group. In the mash up of chaos they had managed to get ahold of one of Hydra's current researching scientists. He hadn't known about the facility but apparently he'd known about the person in the cell. "We can open it…but you will need to let me address the experiment first."

"That's a human Doc. Not an experiment." Bruce clarified a slight tick in his jaw.

"Right. Yes, anyway…" he took a deep breath. "The chances are that they will willingly come out for me." He made a pointed stare at Stark. "Do not interfere until we know how dangerous they are. I can't be sure how…wiped they are."

"If you hurt her…" Steve started but the man laughed.

"It is more likely that she will hurt me sir."

"Just get this over with…" Tony punched the numbers into the keypad to open a door to the locked and secure room below. They watched as the man entered.

The girl below sat hunched in a far corner of the room. Her arms were wound tightly about her knees keeping them locked against her chest. Steve could see her staring ahead wide eyed fingers biting into her upper arms so tightly that they were turning white. Her body rocked gently back and forth in a comforting pattern allowing for her back to hit the wall as a stop before she'd rock forward again. Her jaw was set and tense where she ground her teeth together as she rocked. Her feet were bare and scraped with dried blood caked on the bottoms. Her toes were covered in dirt. Her nail beds were gritty as well but with blood or grime, he couldn't tell. Steve noticed that her hair was chopped haphazardly and that one side was buzzed but growing back against the right side of her skull, the other side hung in tangles knotted over her shoulder. Within it's dark brown matt he saw more dirt and grime. She was a mess. There was no telling what had happened here. When the door opened she instantly stopped rocking. She didn't acknowledge him, didn't look, but the way her eyes narrowed Steve knew something wasn't right.

"Soldat aufzustehen. Sie Haben eine." _(Soldier, get up. You have a mission.)_

The girl did not move. He took a step closer raising his voice.

"Ich sagte, steh auf!" _(I said get up)_

Again she refused to move.

"NOW!" he snapped reaching forward for her arm. "Sie haben eine bestellung! Ich sagte aufstehen!" _(You have an order! Get up!)_

His hand gripped her shoulder attempting to yank her to her feet.

"We should do something. We need to stop this!" Bruce started to say.

"Auf die harte tour dann!" _(Fine, the hard way then!) _the German scientist snapped. "Activate Hail Hydra. Bestellung destroy Captain America." (_Order: Destory Captain America)_

"Steve do something!" Tony started to try and open the doors again which had shut but apparently the Hail Hydra order had locked them both in.

"Move!" He snapped grabbing for his shield from his back. He started to pound at the door to bust it open. He wasn't going to make it.

The girl started to get to her feet allowing the man grabbing at her to yank her up. Bruce watched as something shifted in her gaze. Her eyes slid to the side glancing up at him.

"Hail Hydra?" she whispered. They could hear from the observation computer. The scientist nodded sighing.

"How damaged are you? Yes, your order has been given." He yanked on her arm again.

"Fuck hydra!" it was one movement. In one movement the girl had twisted pulling the man forward where he stumbled. In that instant she wrenched a handful of his hair and slammed his face forward into the wall. "Shove the order up your ass!" She rammed his head again into the wall, pulling it back and throwing it forward. It wouldn't stop. Bruce screamed at Steve as he beat at the wall. There was blood all over the tiled area near the girl. She wouldn't stop.

"STEVE!" Tony shouted as the lock busted. It clanged to the floor as Steve rushed in. The girl stiffened turning to look at him. She dropped the man's head and he fell to the tiles at her feet with a sickening thud.

"Get out." Her voice whispered. It was shaky…it was unsure.

"I…I can't do that." He saw the same kind of tortured look in her eyes that he'd seen in Bucky's.

"Bestellung Destroy Captain America." The man choked from the floor. Steve watched as the girl's neck twitched to the side and she stiffened. Her pupils dilated.

"Steve you need to get back." Tony warned appearing in the doorway. He was suited up.

"We cannot hurt her." Steve argued desperately. She didn't know what she was doing…

"Get out now Steve." Tony said firmly. The girl bent down grabbing the man's glasses off his face. She smashed them in her hand, breaking the glass, and carefully held a shard she selected at an angle.

"I can't…" she rushed him. Swinging the glass shard at his throat. He tried to deflect her with the shield but she swung her other arm up blocking him. She took the full weight of his attack and shoved back. His shield hit what sounded like steel but there was most defiantly skin there. Steve moved back trying to give her space but she jammed her leg out catching the back of his calves. He cringed. It was metal again. But there was skin. Steve was momentarily caught off guard which gave her the opening she needed. She thrust the glass at his jugular as Tony fired a charged round. It hit her square in the chest throwing her back into the tiled wall. She slid down expelling a breath eyes falling shut.

"Thanks." Steve mumbled.

"As if having Bucky wasn't bad enough." Tony rolled his eyes. "Now we have Ken and Barbie."


	2. Child Soldat-soldier

Tony watched with Pepper at his side as numerous psychologists and psychiatrists paced around the observation room they'd set up in Stark Tower. He'd agreed to help out on this one because his access to some of the best medical care through his money and connections were obvious. He'd promised to help Steve out on this one. The guy was convinced that this girl would be a key in finding Bucky and dragging him back. Tony wasn't so sure. Pepper wound her hand down sliding her fingers through his. They watched as the scientists walked around the bullet proof glass room, which wasn't much unlike Loki's original prison, recording and tapping monitors. They had found video records, files, and paperwork on the girl stored in the facility and in a short time they'd be called in to watch some of the footage. Fury had agreed that if they were going to use her to find Bucky, then they all needed to understand her level of danger.

"It's like caging an animal." Pepper sighed out.

"She is an animal. We have to recreate her into a human Pep. If you'd watched the footage of that Barnes guy, you'd understand how far gone she probably is."

"It just seems wrong." She whispered holding his hand tighter. Stark glanced at her before looking back into the clear paneled room.

"She needs help Pep. She'll get it here." He replied watching the girl in the room.

At first they had given her a bed. It had been given restraints. They had found out that it was a very bad decision. When she'd woken up with a scientist hovering over her and restraints on her arms she'd nearly killed the man. The only thing that had stopped her was an injection that had knocked her out. The poor guy had taken a foot to the face before she'd flipped the stretcher-like bed to rip the restraints. She was every bit a trained soldier that they'd feared she was. The scary part was, that if they kept knocking her out to control her, they'd be just as bad as Hydra. They'd taken the bed out as a precaution finding that she was much more comfortable on the floor. She sat like she had been the way they'd found her…back to a wall…rocking…holding her knees. The space just behind her ear on the right side, where the hair was buzzed, had proved to hold a small computerized chip. They weren't sure yet what else it did to her, but certain controlling phrases such as what the scientist had used on her in the facility, were too hard for her to ignore. At some point it would overpower her own will and she was forced to follow them. It meant that she had fought back so much, they'd resorted to controlling her electronically. They'd turned her into a robot soldier. Tony wondered vaguely, if they'd only done it to use her against Bucky if he'd ever gone rogue.

"It's time sir." Jarvis spoke in the room. "The viewing is ready." He nodded and drew in a breath before Pepper kissed his cheek and left.

Tony entered the room to see the others around a table waiting. Steve looked tense and high strung. He shifted in his seat glancing at Stark. He nodded to him and straightened in his seat. Fury stood at the head of the table waving an arm in front of a computer screen which came down from the ceiling. It was big enough that they could all view the footage without a problem. Natasha eyed Fury for a moment before speaking.

"So basically, we found very little original data on this kid. Minimal information leak. She was born and taken to an orphanage. No records of parents. No name." she ran her fingers absently over the wooden table before continuing.

"She ran away from the orphanage when she was six. Police in Germany found her shoes outside of an abandoned warehouse in the snow. There's a report somewhere in here…anyway, the point is, she didn't exist. She fell off the grid. Which means that Hydra had her from the age of six…"

"We can assume that's about how old she is in the first few tapes you'll few today. In the tapes, they refer to her as Soldier." Fury added pressing a button to start the old footage.

"They didn't name her at the orphanage?" Steve asked.

"They called her child. As many others there. It was a run-down shit hole…too many kids, not enough food." Clint nodded back to the screen.

There was a shot of a small girl, with hair tangled to her shoulders, standing in front of a white cement wall. She was thin, underfed, and bags rimmed her eyes. The child shifted her weight from foot to foot before biting her lip. The camera was set up on a tripod taping only one view. A voice spoke over the camera directing towards the child. She hovered back against the wall eyes growing wider but she didn't try to run. She stayed still.

"Soldat, Haben wir dich gerettet. Sie schulden uns lhrem leben." (_Soldier, we have rescued you. You owe us your life_)

The voice on the video continued to repeat this over and over again. As time went on they began to play classical music with his voice. They shut off most of the lights. The girl scrunched down the wall and did something they'd all seen her do frequently now. She wrapped her arms around her knees and pulled them close burying her face into her knees rocking back and forth. She was trying to block it out. Eventually the lights went dark and they heard a door open. Not much after there was a terrifying scream that was strangled and the video cut out.

The next video was a few years after. Fury sighed leaning back in his chair glancing across the table at Steve. The man looked sick. He was probably thinking about what had happened to Bucky. What they had done to him. They all felt their eyes draw back to the screen as the video started back up again.

"Soldat! Get up!" a voice cut over the video screaming into the holding like room. The girl was older now, about twelve or thirteen. Her hair was buzzed completely, she'd gained some weight, but it was only in small muscles. She looked just as tired. Her eyes just as desperately worn. The bags were deeper and darker under them defining her hollowing cheeks. The girl struggled to pull herself up off the floor.

"Defend yourself! Fight back!" the voice urged. The child coughed wiping at her mouth. When she pulled her hand away there was blood and a tooth fell to the floor. It was then that Steve sucked in a hard breath. Bucky walked into the shot terse and stern staring down at the girl.

"Make her get up." The voice on the intercom spoke calmer. Bucky reacted instantly. He grabbed her by the front of her plain matted shirt, that looked like it had been worn for weeks, and yanked her to her feet.

"If she will not fight, punish her." The intercom cut out as if it had been disabled. There was a clicking sound that accompanied the lock on the door to the left moving to seal the room. Bucky looked down at the small child and gripped her shirt tighter.

"Please…please sir." She whispered coughing. "Stop." He reared his arm back and slammed it into her face letting go of her shirt. His metal fist connected with her nose and cheek sending her slamming back down into the ground. When she hit he didn't stop. Bucky picked her up again and again continuing this action. When she was no longer conscious, he stood over her body breathing heavily.

"When she wakes, we will try again." The voice said over the intercom. The video went black.


	3. Two Marks

Steve stood from the table instantly. Fury moved to block him from the doorway but Natasha shook her head. They all knew how incredibly hard that would be to see happen. He reached the doors and hesitated taking a deep breath. He gripped the handles before turning to come back. There was nothing he could do but stare at the table. Tony cleared his throat looking up to Fury.

"Can we continue?" Fury glanced to the captain one more time for the go ahead. He barely made eye contact before nodding silently. They'd have to let him come to terms with this on his own. There was no telling if there was footage of Bucky on here in detail as well. He obviously was used in part for her training. Fury started the next video.

The track skipped a few rolls before settling back and the grainy image came into view. The girl had grown. Her hair was sloppily pulled back, tied into a knot at the base of her skull. She was again in the white walled room but there was a table in front of her. On the table were several weapons. Her arm, which was now much tighter with fully adapted trained muscles, picked one up off the table. It was a black steel short blade that fit nicely in her palm.

"Good choice." The voice spoke over the intercom. "Use it."

She turned gracefully, crouching as she did, and threw the knife with precision. It hit the wall with so much force that the blade wedged into the cement blocks along the cocked seal between the bricks. She slowly stood back up and turned back to the table to select another weapon.

"Soldat." She paused waiting for a command. "Pick a weapon." She stood straighter now and took her time staring over the table. It was like she was sizing up the opportunity to pick exactly the right one. Her fingers grazed over several guns, fingering their grips, before they settled on another hand held knife. Her fist curled over the blade as she plucked it off the table. The door to the left of the room opened and she gripped the knife tighter. Bucky stood facing her down.

"Soldats, use your weapons." Bucky didn't have to pick one. He was already built with one.

He charged her catching her about the waist. He picked her up and slammed her back into the table knocking the knives and guns to the floor. Metal clattered over the tiles but this time the girl didn't give up. She screamed as Bucky punched her knocking her head to the side. It wasn't until he stumbled back that they realized she'd not only dug the knife into his metal arm at the elbow but she'd also aimed her foot hard enough into his stomach to kick him off. This time she charged pulling her arm back punching him in the jaw. It did not have the same effect that his blow had done to her, but it shocked him none the less. He growled ripping the knife from his metal arm and flipped it swiping it at her throat. She stepped back sucking in a breath before ducking another swipe and kicking her leg out to catch his calves. He anticipated her, catching the leg. He meant to swing her into the ground but she used the momentum to twist her body and switch kick his face. She rebounded back flipping backwards breathing hard. She raised her arms defensively. In the heartbeats that passed, the intercom spoke.

"Enough. That is enough for today. Soldats shall return to their cells." It clicked off. For a moment, a brief moment, the girl glanced at Bucky. They all saw it. She smiled softly at him before wiping at her brow where she sweat. He eyed her for a long pause before nodding to her. There was no response other than that from him but it had been enough. It had been what Steve was hoping to see. Somehow this girl had reached Bucky too. They watched as she quickly grabbed another knife turning to face the wall. She scrambled to make two small notches into the bricks. Bucky sighed and did the same thing quickly on another wall. They had both dropped the weapons just before the scientists came in with armed soldiers. They took both by their arms, winding them behind their backs, and led them out of the room.

-(later)-

"I do not think this is a good idea." Bruce said calmly watching as Tony continued to load a CD into the observations room's computer. He was willing to bet that she was trained to respond to classical music like they'd watched in the video. Anger would produce something real. It was one of the most realistic emotions your could invoke within someone.

"I want to see what's behind that mask they built onto her. I want to see the real human inside her."

"So, you're going to piss her off until you crack her? You realize that never goes well. It didn't go well for me." Tony turned to smirk at him.

"You turn into a giant green monster. She is a trained killing machine behind bullet proof glass. She's a spider in a kid's box."

"This is a horrible idea. It's not…" Stark hit the play button. Music started to fill the glass box. They watched as the girl stopped rocking in the corner. She tensed, her back rigid, as she sat up listening. The music seemed to drift into her, pouring into her brain, and she became more hollow. Stark watched her eyes stare straight ahead wide and empty. Her hands twitched shaking before coming up over her ears. Within the minute she squeezed her eyes shut screaming. It was a strangled sort of scream, desperate in nature, and it wouldn't stop. She kept screaming. At first Tony thought it was jibberish but after listening a moment he heard it. Bruce reached for the switch to turn off the music but he swatted his hand away yelling over her voice.

"LISTEN!" he snapped.

"ZWEI MARKEN! ZWEI MARKEN! ZWEI MARKEN!"

"Jarvis! Translate!" Stark snapped.

"Two marks sir. She is saying, Two Marks." Bruce and Tony stared at each other as the realization sunk in. Earlier on the tape she and Bucky had made two marks in the cement bricks. It was something, as they'd watched throughout the rest of the footage that night, that the two did after being trained together just before they were separated. They did it each time. After a while on the tapes they had realized also, that Bucky had started to trace his fingers over the two marks as he'd enter the room and glance directly at the girl. She'd touch them as well. It was like a secret way of communication for one another. It was like they both knew, they knew their memories would be taken from them, so they resorted to finding something, anything, that they could do to keep them intact.

"Turn it up Jarvis." He whispered. The music began to get louder. She screamed louder gripping the sides of her head so tightly that it seemed as if she would rip her skin off. Psychiatrists rushed in screaming at Tony to stop at once. Her sentence changed.

"ER IST HEIR! ER IST HEIR! ICH BIN NICHT ALLEIN!" she was screaming at herself trying to tell herself something as she shook her head.

"Translate Jarvis!" Tony shouted again.

"He's here sir. He's here. I am not alone." Bruce slammed his hand over the stop button. She continued to scream for several moments before getting up.

"She's trying to remember him. She wants to remember him. She knows that when they would do this to her eventually they'd make her train against him. She wants to find him." He grinned at Bruce. "She needs Barnes to keep herself sane."

"Well that's great Stark! We don't have him and you just set her into a rampage!" He yelled back.

"WHERE IS HE!?" there was a sudden smashing noise behind Tony. He turned to see the girl pounding her fist so hard into the glass she was actually making cracks. He stared wide eyed.

"I don't…" she hit the glass again and it began to shatter in that spot. She kicked the rest of it ripping pieces away to crawl out from the hole.

"WHERE IS SOLDAT**?" She screamed grabbing Stark by his shirt hoisting him up.

"We don't know!" Bruce feared having to unleash. She was unstable.

"We need your help to find him…" Steve breathed out running into the room. The girl stiffened turning her head to face him. She dropped Stark and started a path for the captain.

"Not another step." Fury leveled a gun at her. Natasha took the other side doing the same. She eyed them both before rolling her eyes.

"Where is he?" she asked directing her voice at Steve.

"We don't know." He saw her eyes grow smaller again. "We know that you can help us find him."

"He's not dead?" she whispered suddenly. He watched the broken fissure in her anger. She sunk down to her knees.

"No. No, he's not dead." She leaned her head back staring up at the ceiling.

"I am not alone." She repeated before looking down at the ground. Several men surrounded her and wound her arms behind her back lifting her to her feet. They started to cuff her but Steve stopped them.

"No. You're not alone. Let her go. She doesn't deserve that." He whispered. "She won't hurt us."

"She just tried to rip Tony apart!" Bruce sighed out running a hand over his face.

"She's broken." Natasha replied gently. "Look at her…she's not going to hurt anyone. She just wants to find Barnes." The girl stood there being held as a prisoner calmly.

"Barnes?" she asked looking up at them. "His name…Barnes?"

"Bucky Barnes." Steve nodded to her. She smiled. He saw that gentle smile of the girl from the video. It was the smile she'd flashed at Bucky.

"I am not alone." She whispered before her eyes rolled back into her skull.

** : Soldat- soldier (The only name she knew Bucky by.)


	4. I Don't Like You

The girl sat at a table in Tony's lab. She stared watching while he worked on spare parts rebuilding a new suit. Her eyes seemed to follow each stroke, each turn, each movement he made. She had been silent the entire time. Bruce was watching her as she watched Tony. He noted the way her eyes perceived human movement but not really the person. She wasn't watching him to get to know him or open a conversation, she was watching what he was doing. Her entire body was rigid, sitting in a chair at the table, hugging her knees with her chin resting on them. It was terrifying. It was like she was memorizing his movements and sizing him up as a threat, or at least a just being ready if he were to attack her. It made Bruce hurt. She was watching Tony in case he attacked. He sighed as Tony hissed pulling his arm back from a piece of metal that he'd burnt it on while welding.

"The seams not straight." She whispered. Tony raised an eyebrow turning to face her.

"Yeah? You think you can do better kiddo?" after a long pause the girl nodded. A few strands of her long messy brown hair fell in her eyes.

"Yes." She replied her voice small. Stark debated handing the girl a weapon that spit fire; he wasn't sure that it was a great idea, seeing as their recent run ins weren't pleasant.

"Come on then." He gestured to the suit holding the welder. "Give it a go." She hesitated. Slowly, she got up her bare feet padding over the floor, and made her way over to him. He noticed that she positioned herself facing him at an angle and stopped about a foot away from him. She placed her hand out for the welder.

"I don't need gloves." She said as he started to take one off. "I won't feel it with the hand I'm using anyway."

"What do you mean you won't feel it?" he asked.

"When they put the metal inside my bones, I lost some feeling in places. My right hand was one of those." She said matter of fact. He handed her the welder and she clicked the flint to ignite it.

"You have metal in your bones?" he clarified watching as she began matching the seams back together in a much straighter line than he had done.

"Don't stand at my back." Her voice was terse and he immediately moved into the side line of vision for her. He noted that her back relaxed just a fraction.

"I think we got off on the wrong foot kid." She eyed him sideways while working.

"I don't like you." Bruce laughed sitting in the chair she had been in.

"At least she's honest."

Hours after they'd resurface from the lab and one suit fully seamed down the side later, the girl made her way into a main living room area of one of the floors. She felt lost. Her body felt tired and wired all in the same heartbeat. Everything here was new. Everything new meant it was a threat. There was no mission here. She didn't know how to operate without a mission. She felt her heartbeat begin to race. Mission. She had no mission. What was she supposed to do? There had to be a mission. There was always a mission. Barnes. She stopped suddenly gripping a chair she'd started to pass by near the windowed wall viewing the city below. Barnes was her mission. These people wanted to use her just the same as Hydra. She was just a weapon for hire. They owned her now because they had found her. Another shot of adrenaline jolted through her chest. Her eyes grew wide. What if these men were Hydra as well. What if Hydra was just moving her under the government's noses again. Again? She couldn't really remember being moved before to other places, other countries for missions, for safekeeping…but at the same time she knew that it had been done. She knew that she'd been taken to many different places as a cover. Who was she a cover for? What had they made her do…her knees started to grow weak.

She sunk down on the plush cream carpet and stared out through the window wall. Where was the last place she remembered being except for the lab? She tried…she tried so hard…but only pieces of black fuzzy images stretched through her mind. Suddenly she jerked upright her jaw tensing. Within the moving black images there was an intense bright flash of red and she screamed. There was so much pain accompanied by this memory that was only a color she couldn't keep it inside. She ground her teeth together so hard grinding them against one another to keep the scream inside her throat. What was that? What was that red pain? Who was she…what did these people want her for…Barnes. Her mission was to find Barnes. Then they would wipe her again…they'd wipe her and start over.

Steve entered the living room after hearing the strangled scream to find the girl in bad shape. She was huddled on the ground, knees pulled to her chest, gripping the sides of her head with her eyes squeezed shut tightly. He approached her slowly. He knew that rushing to get near her would only startle her. He wasn't even sure if this was a good idea either. When he'd reached Bucky the man had only attacked him with more fervor. Gently, he knelt down beside her and put one finger to her wrist. She jerked away from him catching herself against the side of a white couch. She grabbed for something from the table that could be used as a weapon.

"I am _not_ an enemy." He said taking his hand back from her body. She paused looking at his eyes. He had her attention. Her hand was still stretched mid-way to grip around a vase.

"I do _not_ want to hurt you." He whispered. "What happened?" he asked still kneeling in front of her. A brief image flashed through her mind. An image of the soldier they kept calling Bucky. She saw him sitting in front of her on the tiled lab floor reaching out to touch her chin.

"_I didn't mean to hurt you that bad." _He'd said. She flinched back from Steve trying to meld herself into the couch.

"What is my mission?" she asked. Steve saw slats of moonlight fall over her face from the window as her eyes met his. She had yet to comb her hair, and had flat out refused Natasha's help to brush it. It was snarled in places, tucked behind her ears, and tied in a knot at the back of her head. It was in a sort of snarled bun.

"There is no mission." He said reaching forward again to take her hand. He did it in a manner that she saw it coming. It was not a surprise when his hand touched hers. She tensed but didn't jerk away this time.

"You're lying." She grit out through her teeth eyes scared. "You want to make me find him…you'll use me to find him…then you'll do it again." She whispered. Steve tilted his head confused.

"Do what again?" she tried to move her hand but he wouldn't let her. He kept her eyes on his.

"Make everything go black." It was in this moment that he realized just how young she really was. It wasn't like Bucky who'd been kept alive for nearly seventy years to endure this. Every form of torture they'd subjected her to was freshly imprinted into her physical and mental state. Even if she couldn't remember it, it was there. Her reactions were so purely acute because they'd done what they'd done to Bucky to her in a shorter amount of time. They'd also started at an earlier age; she'd only been six. She couldn't be much older than twenty something now as it stood.

"We will not hurt you." He stated firmly. "We want to help you. You are not on a mission. There is no mission."

"There has to be!" she snapped closing her eyes again shaking her head. She ripped her arm from his and shot to her feet. "There is always a mission!" she snapped her hands shaking at her sides.

"Your mission is to find out who you were." Tony said entering the room. He eyed her down.

"Who I was?" she asked confused.

"You're part of our team. It's our mission too. We are uncovering Hydra files to find out where you came from and who you were. What your purpose was…why they created you." The instant he suggested she had a mission Steve watched her relax. It was built into her. Without a mission she couldn't understand the world around her. She couldn't understand herself.

"Ok." She whispered standing still now. Her attention was like that of awaiting orders.

"You need to get some sleep." He told her. She remembered they'd given her a small room on another floor. "Do you want help finding it?" She shook her head and turned to leave.

"Wait." Steve said taking strides to catch up. "I wanted to ask you something." She turned to glance at him. It was as much of a response as he would get.

"What do you want us to call you?" there was apparent shock on her face.

"I don't have a name. I am Soldat." She was only known as soldier before. He shook his head.

"For this mission you will need a name." Tony interjected. "What do you want to be called?" it was clear that she'd never been given control of herself before. She made a face looking completely lost.

"Anya." She said suddenly. It came out of her mouth without her even realizing it. "I want to be called Anya." She surprised herself.

"Well, goodnight then…Anya." Steve smiled at her as she walked towards the elevator.

When the doors shut he turned to face Tony.

"What was that?"

"The doctor's said that she won't respond to anything that isn't mission driven. She has to have a reason to function. We take that away and she will fall to pieces. So, I gave her a mission. If we find Bucky on the way, then all the better, but she needs to believe that we're in this for her Captain. If we don't have at least her cooperation, I'm not saying trust because I don't think she'd capable of that yet, but without her hand in this you won't find him." Steve had to admit that he was right. They needed her.

"But we're lying to her." He said rubbing the back of his neck. "That might break her more than anything else."

"Who's more important Cap? Anya or Bucky? Ask yourself that one…I can answer who matters more to me. You or Pepper? She would win every time bud. Sorry."

"That's not right." He started shaking his head.

"You mean it's not fair. Life isn't fair. You have to pick and choose. It's your call Captain. Bucky or Anya?" after a moment Steve looked at the floor sighing.

"We have to find Bucky. I promised him…"

"Then there's your answer. You'll use her because she can help you find a person you care about. That's what life comes down to sometimes." He shrugged. "In the end, hopefully we'll be able to fix her up after we find Bucky. They can both be rehabilitated soldiers together Steve…."

The captain eyed the other man with sadness. It was of lost hope.

"The world shouldn't be like that."

"Welcome to the twenty-first century. Everybody has to look out for themselves." Tony replied before waving a hand over his shoulder to leave the room. "Come on, let's get some milk."


	5. 76 Hours

Anya stared at the ceiling. Her room was dark. She liked darkness. She liked it because it meant that she couldn't see the things around her. She couldn't sleep. They'd told her to sleep. She hadn't slept in three days. She laid stiffly on the bed with one sheet pulled up over her. She couldn't place why sheets felt uncomfortable but they did. She gave in after a few minutes and shoved it off sitting upright. Anya ran a hand through her hair. They'd said that her mission was to find out who she was and to track down Barnes. One of those she could do easily, the other would take many therapy sessions. She wasn't sure that those were a good idea. Dr. Banner had suggested that she attend meetings with a professional to assess her memories safely. Glancing towards the window, Anya watched the lights of the city outside blinking and flickering in and out of life. She watched planes bowl through the sky like comets overhead. It all made her nervous. She felt itchy. Her skin was cold and clammy. The metal inside her bones did that sometimes. There were times she couldn't retain heat the way she should because it metal stayed colder than it should have. She had to be especially careful when trekking into cold climates near or below zero. Unlike Bucky who had been able to cover and insulate his arm, Anya's entire body froze up. She shivered feeling a bead of sweat trickle down the back of her neck.

She padded barefoot into the bathroom that was attached to the bedroom they'd given her. She took a moment to turn on the sink, allowing the water to fill the sink marginally, before she splashed her face. The water was lukewarm and gave her a grounded feeling. She reached for a towel to dry herself off with.

"Is there anything you might need ma'am?" Jarvis asked over the house speaker. She nearly had a heart attack. Her hand shot out grabbing for a toothbrush which she flipped between her fingers and slammed against the counter. It was now a perfect sharp edge. She stood poised for someone to come at her. It was a few moments before she registered that it was that damned computer.

"No. I…I'm fine thanks." She responded awkwardly to it. There was a long pause.

"It has been nearly 76 hours since you have slept. If I may, perhaps you would find the company of Mr. Stark who also does not sleep." She glared up at the ceiling.

"I don't think that's a good idea." She whispered running her hands through her hair. Her fingers got caught and she stole a glance in the mirror. She was a mess. She stopped. This was the first time in her life she had ever looked at herself and thought about what she looked like. Her hair was snarled in matted knots that needed to be brushed or cut out. She had just continued to pull it back, twisting it into a bun.

"Could it hurt?" Jarvis replied. Her eyes flicked back up.

"You're awfully pushy for a computer." She quipped.

"If you'd want some company, you would be able to find Mr. Stark downstairs in his lab." She rolled her eyes.

"Where else would he be…I mean honestly…I'm not stupid." She remarked more to herself than the computer. She came out of the bathroom debating what she really wanted to do.

She wanted to begin her mission. She wanted to find Bucky. None of them could understand the ways in which he would help her; more than any psychiatrist could do. If he was near her…she was whole. They didn't understand just how impossibly dependent she was on him being alive. When they'd taken Bucky from the lab…they'd had to freeze her because she'd killed a scientist in retaliation. When they'd taken Bucky her entire being had seized up. They were literally taking a piece of her…

Her heart clenched.

What was that feeling? It was utterly unfamiliar. She dismissed it gripping her chest. Her breathing was hitched and out of rhythm. She looked up.

Unknowingly her feet had carried her down the main stairs to the basement laboratory. Wide-eyed she sucked in a small breath trying to concentrate.

"It's called a panic attack. You want to come sit down?" Tony asked appearing out of nowhere behind her. In hind sight he realized that this had been a bad idea.

"Don't _do_ that!" she hissed reflexively slamming her elbow into his chest. She smashed him up against the wall shaking. He saw the indecision in her eyes. Her brain told her that he wasn't a threat…her body was reacting on instinct.

"You going to put me down anytime soon?" he quirked an eyebrow. She let him down.

"I…" she began.

"Don't know what's real and what isn't? Who you should trust? What to do?" he asked wlaking past her opening the lab door.

"Yeah…" she said staring at him slightly annoyed.

"Then come on in." he smirked gesturing to the lab. "I have beer." She found a small laugh inside herself at that.

"Actually, I wanted some help tracking Bucky." She whispered. "I can find him…but I need some of your technology." Tony let her walk through the door before answering.

"Beer first, then mission. You really need to relax kid." He clapped her on the shoulder.


	6. With or Without

It wasn't until her eyelids began to fall multiple times in a row, did Tony realize how exhausted Anya was. He sighed leaning over taking the beer from her fingers and setting it on the table beside his workstation. They'd been sitting talking for a while now. He'd learned a few things about this kid. He didn't want too. But he had. She certainly was determined. It had taken a promise of using drones to locate Bucky along with her aide before she'd finally agreed to sit down. He'd also learned that there was a lot more to this whole Bucky-kid situation than any of them had known. They had all seriously underestimated the amount of contact these two had had as well as their general emotions. Well, he couldn't be sure that Bucky would be the same way, but the kid sure was.  
>Her eyes had grown wider, pupils dilating when she'd spoken about him. She had also been rushed. Her words had come out jumbled together. Tony watched as her shoulders finally un-tensed and slid forward slightly. She was asleep. The lines under her eyes were heavy. She was physically aged beyond her years. Her hands had scars; so many that he couldn't count with his eyes alone. He kept replaying a part of their conversation.<p>

"_I can't explain it. A psych isn't going to work." She whispered staring down into the lips of her bottle._

"_Then what will work? Because you can't keep going without sleep…it makes you unstable…more than you already are." Tony raised an eyebrow watching her._

"_Finding him." She glanced up. "I have to find him. That's what will help." Tony shifted back in his seat closing his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose._

"_I cannot house to crazies under one roof kid. You're unstable. He's unstable…my upholstery and furnishings cannot afford that kind of stress. I already have a Hulk." _ _She took a moment to set the bottle down and looked up. Her eyes had met his._

"_I'm not crazy." She held his stare solidly. "If you ever call him or I that again, I will kill you. Am I clear?" _

"_Crystal." He replied running a hand through his hair nervously. Her stare was unsettled but determined. _

"_Good. Now, I don't care what any of you think. I was literally built for the Winter Soldier. That was my directive." Tony sat up straighter at that. He furrowed his brows._

"_Come again?" he asked._

"_I was built to assist the Winter Soldier." The look on her face was pure loyalty. _

"_But you did it willingly." She made an annoyed noise in the back of her throat leaning back in her chair. She broke his gaze. _

"_Not all the crap…not the killing…but I couldn't hurt him. If I didn't comply they hurt him. He depended on my obedience." She wouldn't look up now. _

"_When was the last time you saw him?" he asked gently._

"_When they took him away." She shrugged but her face held it all. If a human as beaten as she could cry, there would have been tears forming in the corners of her eyes. As it stood, they were dry, but swirling with emotions. In that moment, Tony realized, Anya loved Bucky. _

He recruited the help of Clint to carry the girl upstairs and back to her room. Once they'd exited and made it to the elevator he turned to the other man running a hand down his face.

"You and Natasha are good at this stealth crap?" he questioned. Clint gave him a half glance.

"Yes. We're good at stealth crap Tony. Years of being a trained archery accomplice and spy and I'm good at this stealth crap." His voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Can the attitude bird man." He snapped. "I need your help." Clint sighed gesturing for him to go on.

"I'm sending Anya out tomorrow for her first attempt at finding Bucky. She doesn't want Steve or anyone else to know. She wants to do this alone. I don't want to send her out blind."

"So you want me to tail her?" he asked.

"You and Natasha please. I'm sending a drone to track her as well." Clint leaned back against the wall of the elevator crossing his arms over his chest.

"This is not a good idea. Sending a soldier out to find another soldier. Both unstable?" Tony started to step out onto his floor when the box stopped.

"She's in love with the guy…if anyone can bring him in…it's her. Not Steve. We underestimated their connection."

"I still don't like it. But fine. Whatever. Steve will kill you later." The doors slid shut.

When the next morning arrived it was hard to contain the events. Anya had been up at the crack of dawn knocking on Tony's door. She'd forced him to get out of bed, dress, and go down to the lab. By only seven thirty in the morning she was set up. The drone was already buzzing in the sky waiting outside for her, she was dressed in civilian clothing with coffee in hand, and Clint had been notified for Natasha and himself to be ready to tail her. Tony was going back to sleep as soon as she left. Jarvis would track her and if anything would happen, he'd wake him up. He gave her one more once over rubbing the back of his neck. She looked normal. He'd wrangled her into dressing like a normal human female instead of a homeless college student. She had argued to no end but had finally put on the jeans, white shirt, and brown leather jacket while grumbling. He'd forced her to keep her hair down to hide the device in her ear. With this as an ultimatum she'd had to allow Natasha to brush and wash her hair. The entire process had led to her giving the Widow a look of pure death. Tony was pretty impressed with the level of hatred she'd concentrated into that stare.

"Can I go now?" she griped sipping more coffee. Tony watched her for a moment.

"Yeah. Go for it kid." He waved towards the door.

"Make sure you have Steve ready when I give you the ok."

"You really think you're coming back with him huh?" he asked.

"It's with him or I'm not coming back." Were the last words she uttered before venturing beyond the door.


	7. BONUS CHAPTER (LONG)-Shaky

Anya stood watching the filter of people drag by her field of vision. The muddled over the streets in droves like rats. Things had changed yes, people were constantly talking and moving now, but she could always blend. She'd neglected to stress to Tony how much being around people like this triggered her. It automatically started a response in her body that drove her nearly mad. Her heart started to tick. Her eyes felt like pressure had built behind them. Her hands were shaky. The shaking had always been a habit since she was a child. From the first mission she'd been given to now, her hands had always been unsteady. As a person shoved by her bumping into her shoulder Anya stood still. She watched as they turned around giving her a look of indecency with a phone glued to their ear. She wiped her sweaty palms against her jeans moving forward in the crowd. She had a mission here. She needed to find Bucky. She knew him. She knew he wouldn't leave the one thing that had connected him to this world. If Steve had broken him, he'd stay close to Steve. As she stuffed her hands in her pockets trying to keep them from being noticed she thought back. She remembered a very hazy memory.

_ Bucky breathed against her back reaching around her side. Her heart was racing. She leaned forward to sight the target through the scope. She let a breath out before closing her other eye and focusing. Bucky placed a hand over hers near the trigger. _

"_Not yet." He whispered against her ear. "Your hand is unsteady." He slid a finger along hers to still it at the trigger._

"_I am not." She insisted belligerently in a hot whisper. She wasn't older than eleven at best. _

"_Steady your hand." He corrected her like an older brother. "Watch him. He's walking towards the building. When he reaches the door you wait. Wait until his hand is on the knob." She listened despite wanting to throw up. This had been one of the first real missions she'd been told to conduct with the Winter Soldier. It was all part of her training they had said. _

"_Wait." He said again pressing her down into the dirt of the rooftop to flatten her body from being seen. _

"_I have the shot." She growled out. _

"_Wait." He snapped again. She let out a sigh angrily but waited. _

"_Now?" she asked sarcastically when the hand reached for the knob. He breathed out beside her and slowly pulled the trigger using her finger. She sucked in a breath watching through the sight as the man's head exploded from a tiny hole that entered the back of his skull. The door was sprayed with blood. He fell limply. His hand never gripped the knob. _

"_Affirmed kill shot." Bucky said into an earpiece he'd been fitted with. _

She bumped through people like a fish in the sea listening. She kept her hands in her pockets remembering Bucky telling her she was unsteady. She remembered him telling her to wait. She paused on the sidewalk. To avoid the rush of people she stepped backwards into an alcove by a store opening. He'd always told her to wait. She was impatient. That's what she remembered most about being trained. She knew it was nothing for him to hunker down and stay somewhere patiently for days. She was always itching to move. He wouldn't have left this city, she was sure of that. She was also sure of the area he'd be in now. Hidden away, hidden behind. Blend. He'd blend in with the people no one watched. The sudden thought made her feel stupid for not realizing it at first. The realization also caused a jolt in her body. Immediately she started forward again with a new purpose.

Natasha rose an eyebrow watching. Clint had sat across the area the girl had moved in at a small coffee shop with her. At first they'd thought she was just pacing the city thinking of places he could be. It wasn't until they watched her duck under an awning of a shop that she showed any real purpose.

"Where do you think she's going now?" he asked leaning back in the chair.

"I'm not sure but she looks determined." Natasha replied.

"You think she got sight of him?" she shook her head. She would have seen the soldier before the girl would have.

"No, but she knows what she's doing now." She got up grabbing for her bag to sling it on her back.

"I'd rather we just stay here for once." He sighed out before getting up. "Having lunch was actually nice." He smirked.

"Move." She eyed him. "Before we lose her." And the Widow was off tailing the girl who was weaving delicately between bodies. She wasn't trained half-bad. If it weren't for her moving too fast at this moment, nothing would have seemed amiss about her at all.

Anya swiftly crossed the busy street into the lower side of town. She shuffled off her jacket quickly. This kind of leather poured off a vibe she didn't want down here. She needed to fit in and Tony's expensive taste would only hinder her movements here. She walked by a trashcan dumping it. The shirt underneath and jeans would do alright. She reached up making sure the baseball cap was hiding the majority of her eyes. People didn't like to look directly into your face when you asked questions. They didn't want to know who you were. She needed answers. Glancing in the general direction of the river she made her way towards the docks. Neither one of them had ever liked water much, but she had a feeling, that someone around here had to have seen him. Rounding a corner she stopped. There was an older man sitting against the bottom of a building. He looked ragged and dirty. Tuffs of matted hair hung in his eyes. He held a brown bottle in one hand and a green duffle bag in his other, just sitting. She made her way towards the man slowly. She pulled out a card, a credit card, that Tony had given her and squatted in front of the man.

"You see this?" she asked. He grumbled but nodded.

"Yeah what about it?"

"You want alcohol, food, clothes…a place to stay. It'll all be paid for." She yanked the card back before his gloved hand could reach it.

"What do you want?" he snarled out.

"Answers." She said simply. She waited until he sighed. "A man, tall, brown hair…he came out of this river with Captain America. Where did he go?" the guy huffed coughing before sitting up straighter.

"The guy walked along the river for a ways. Didn't stray from it." He mumbled.

"Towards the bridge?" she prompted. When he nodded she gave him the card.

"What's it to you anyway?" he snapped inspecting the card to be a fake.

"He's an old friend. PIN is 5667." She called over her shoulder reminding herself to ask Tony not to shut off the card until the guy had a place to sleep. She'd make sure somehow that he kept the place even if it meant threatening Tony.

By the time she'd traced the riverbank to the bridge her lungs were aching. She'd gone very fast without stopping. She couldn't; not if she were really this close. She had to get to him. She was sure of it now. He would be here. Where else would you go? Reaching the pillars, she noticed that there were some men huddled around a drum barrel that was on fire. They had their hands over it to keep warm. A cold breeze blew overhead. She regretted taking the jacket earlier but she'd had to blend in. However, that wasn't helping her a whole lot now. A guy approached her from the right. He was grimy with layers of dirt caking his hands and face. He reached inside his blue winter coat for something and again came closer invading her space.

"What's a little girl like you down here for? You come for a new batch?" he asked pulling out a baggy of crushed powder. She noted that it was blue in substance but couldn't tell what kind it was. She moved back shaking her head.

"No. I have business for something else here." She stated starting to walk past him.

"Working the night shift? You're a little early aren't you?" he chuckled. She made a face disgusted that he was even associating her with that kind of woman. Whatever. If it got her in, it got her in. She continued moving. Stopping wasn't an option. She had to be close. She waded through the muddy banks and past the people huddling to stay warm.

There was a woman sitting under a broken tent roof eating beans out of a can with a bent fork. A boy in his teen years huddled beside her picking at dirt beneath his fingernails. Anya hated seeing people like this. There had been missions she couldn't quiet recall, but she knew that she'd seen many places like this. It was why she kept pushing herself forward trying not to look. You didn't look. You didn't connect. You always kept moving. She started past one bridge pillar to catch the other side as her eyes slid over something. Someone. She caught a glimpse of tangled brown hair pulled hastily back in a low pony tail. She saw a guy with his hands in a Patriots Hoddie with his back against the bricked pillar. But it wasn't until she stopped and caught his eyes that she knew it was him. There was a dusting of hair growing along his jaw and dark rimmed circled beneath his eyes. Her entire body was rooted there staring at him. He hadn't seen her yet. He was simply looking around watching those around him. Watching for threats she assumed. He looked stiff and out of place. No doubt his metal arm was cold. Her body ached as it was form the wind off the river. The metal wasn't staying warm enough and her movements were rigid.

"Soldier?" she called across the small space separating them. Calling him by his name wouldn't have been of benefit. He wouldn't have responded. She'd never called him that. His eyes snapped up and in her direction. His body went still. His jaw set. She didn't move.

"Soldat." He replied narrowing his eyes. It was unsure. He wasn't sure who she was. For some unknown reason her insides clenched knowing that. He was trying to place her face but he couldn't.

"I…listen…" she didn't know what she wanted to say. She didn't know how. This had been unplanned.

"Get away from me." He suddenly peeled himself from the pillar moving forward. She took a step back drawing her hands from her pockets.

"Hey." She said in a calm voice. "It's me. I'm not going anywhere." She kept her eyes on his.

"I'm not going back." He said sharply. Her eyes widened. He was mixing her intentions with the past. There had been times she'd been sent to retrieve him when he'd gone missing.

"No. Bucky." She made the mistake of using his name. Now he was set off. It would be a trigger. He'd think they had sent her now trying to use his own name against him to unsettle and rile him back into being compliant. He closed the space between them in that instant. Hands out of his pockets he swung. Everything inside her screamed and without being able to stop it, she entered her soldier state of mind. She ducked.

Shooting an arm up to block as he came at her again, Anya sucked in a breath twisting. She half turned and shot her leg out to catch him. He took advantage however and threw his metal arm into her side. She grunted hunching over from the impact. He hit a lot harder than she remembered and she hadn't gained enough muscle back from where she'd been left in the lab. His elbow caught the back of her skull and she went down. The impact caused dots to play across her line of vision as her face hit the dirt. It didn't stop. She rolled herself over trying to catch the next blow but he was stronger. He always had been. He broke through her block slamming her arm aside and his fist broke into her nose. Pain exploded over her body. It hurt undeniably.

"SOLDIER!" She screamed catching his next fist. She pushed back using her hips to buck him off. He hit the dirt but rolled agilely making it back up to his feet. Blood dripped from her face, down her chin, and over her shirt. She wasn't breaking now. He'd have to kill her to make her stop. Anger flooded her veins. They'd done this to him. It was back with him or without, she'd said that. She wouldn't give up now.

"STAND DOWN!" she ordered venom dripping in her voice. He paused but shook his head.

"I _will not_!" he growled between his teeth going at her again.

"Yes. You will." Natasha spoke suddenly coming forward. An arrow plowed into his shoulder, the flesh one, biting deep and true. Clint came out from behind a tree with his bow raised again.

"The next one goes in your head." He said calmly side walking to keep cover on Bucky. Natasha put a hand on Anya's shoulder.

"We can handle this from here." She told the girl. Anya jerked away from her angrily.

"What the _hell_ are you doing here?" she snapped.

"Helping you." Another arrow shot at the ground by Bucky's foot when he took a step forward pulling the one out of his shoulder.

"Last warning shot." Clint clarified to the other man. Bucky eyed him viciously.

"What do you want?" he questioned.

"They don't want anything!" Anya lost it. She rounded at him and slugged him in the jaw. It didn't do much to hurt him but it made her feel better.

"_I _came to find you. _I _wanted to find you. This has nothing to do with _them_." She said glaring up at him.

"What?" he rubbed where she'd hit him.

"I had to find you." She whispered breathing hard.

"I…why kid?" she let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"Because I'm made for the Winter Soldier, remember? I'm not really me without you." He glanced around her at the other two before looking back to her.

"I don't have a choice do I?"

"Steve's there." She said hoping in the off chance that he'd take that better than he was everything else.

"Where?"

"Where I'm staying. Steve found me." She nodded to him. "Are you coming or do I have to make you?" he stayed silent for several long moments.

"Like you could make me." He grunted out rolling his eyes. She fought the urge to laugh and instead let out a small smile. It wasn't much, but it was a start. He'd at least come willingly. As she glanced at Natasha and Clint though she felt agitation creep into her spine. Tony and her would have a long discussion when they got back. She hadn't asked to go alone to be obstinate and adolescent. She knew better than they did how deadly he could be and how quick. Either one of them could have been killed.

"Let's go…" she said gently glancing back at him. He looked like hell. It was vaguely like a lot of the times she remembered that hadn't been wiped from her head. She'd be sent in to get him from some mission. He'd go…silently…and eventually they'd put him on ice again. This would be the first time that she'd taken him to someone to help him and not back to his prison. She wanted to say she was sorry…but they'd done the same things to her. She knew how he felt. So she stayed quiet and walked in front of him. What mattered most now was getting him somewhere safe. The healing could start after that.


End file.
